From a Fork to a Juicer

I’m pretty good and keeping up with my journalling and daily time with God… note, pretty good – not perfect… from time to time I’m angry with God (which is NOT a sin) and I don’t want to do my devotions – just to punish Him! Yeah – I know… it only punishes me…

With mental health, there are times that I do my devotions, and even as I write this post, that the deeper understanding – the deeper thinking – of grasping of…… (arrghhh – ok – I’m stuck again – but hopefully you can grasp my point)…

Even when I take time to slow down… to be still and know that He is God… take time to renounce Satan from being around me – it’s like my thoughts can’t connect… sometimes they seem like they are being scrambled like eggs with a fork… sometimes like a protein shake in a blender… or veggies being chopped up in a food processer… and then there is the juicer… rammed in and all the pulp is separated and whatever left is liquified… aaarrrggghhhhhh #2 can’t piece together the rest of the thought… but again – I’m sure most readers should be able to get my point…

It’s really easy to get discouraged… easy to have my scrambled thoughts amplifying in my mind, drowning out anything else… and mental health is a real problem for many people… a pastor’s wife I knew walked out of her house one day… they found her body a few months later… she loved God… she was a valued member of society… a dedicated Christian…

Sometimes I have to guard my own mind as it too wants to go for a long walk.. (but I am safe!)… long walks are thoughts – not plans… but why is this still happening?

Is it because of a lack of faith? Maybe to some degree… or is it no different than someone battling cancer???? Do they have a lack of faith?

Often it “just is”…

Either way – I will keep praying – and using Bible verses that I have in my Bible First Aid Kit…

Spending time with God is NEVER wasted time… God doesn’t owe me anything… He has already covered me with grace…

As I continue my battle… I will listen to Christian music… I will do what I know has helped… and even if I can’t figure out anything deeper than that God loves me, that He has a plan for me… that I have a purpose… that the simple faith of a child is all I need… I will do my best to stick to that…

Jesus said we need to have the faith of a child… Maybe I need to be more literal…

Smiling Three Ways

I have never looked so forward to see what God will be doing in my life as I have this year… 20/20 vision of God’s grace and blessings…

Back on August 17, 2019 I was prayed for and healed from 22 years of benign positional vertigo following an accident back in May 1997… I was instantly healed and it was prophesied at that time that the healing would continue – AND IT HAS!!!

In June 2019 I started a med change – the meds I were on were becoming toxic in my system and making my physically ill… within days I noticed a huge difference but I still had meds I was coming off – and going on… the fun of med changes… but my body rejected some of the meds… and one med I tried for several months to get use to but ultimately ended up coming off as well… I also restarted a med I have been previously taken off of and it too really helped – especially with my thinking clarity… I had previously volunteered for helping with the media program at church (I have been a computer geek since I was 14)… but I didn’t have the ability to keep up and I was basically “fired”… Post med changes and I am now back doing the media at church and having NO issues!!!

I have been enrolled in a mental health class – DBT specifically – and the facilitators are excellent!!! With better clarity I am now able to not only comprehend what it being taught but I am also able to implement changes into my life – this is SOOO in God’s timing… a year ago this wouldn’t have happened… and one week as I’m sitting in class – I realized that I was just as functional as all the other class members who are working… and that gave me some hope… as the toxic meds have been released… as I restarted my one med (Concerta for ADHD) – combine this what all that God has been teaching me about spiritual mental health… how to actually and pro-actively combat all the dark thoughts that used to dominate my thinking… how to use God’s truth (Scripture) to not only refute the lies of Satan but also how to set up buffers against them even starting… (this can be another post sometimes more specifically)…

And I find that I have been able to re-comprehend the vital information I need to perform my job… and last Friday I received clearance to return to work – after SIX YEARS off!!

I have been studying to refresh my knowledge and I have been amazed at how easily I have been able to recall (remember I have a brain injury)!!! All I can really say is PRAISE GOD!! The old Doxology Hymn comes to mind:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

What I can tell you is – at Church last Sunday someone came up to me and told me how they have noticed my countenance has changed for the better… and what else have I noticed?

I am smiling all ways possible… physically, mentally and spiritually…

What a lovely start to 2020… I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for the rest of the year!!!

Oh Be Careful Little Mind

There is an old Sunday school song called Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see


O be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little ears what you hear

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little ears what you hear


O be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little hands what you do

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little hands what you do


O be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little feet where you go

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little feet where you go


O be careful little mouth what you say

O be careful little mouth what you say

There’s a Father up above

And He’s looking down in love

So, be careful little mouth what you say



I think it needs this verse:

O be careful little mind what you think
O be careful little mind what you think
There’s a father up above who’s looking down in love
So, be careful little mind what you think

1 Cor 15:34 Think carefully about what is right, and stop sinning.

An interesting verse… Simple yet commanding… Think right and then do right… figure out what your brain should NEEDS to be thinking about and follow through…

In mental health we are told that we need to control our thoughts… That constant negative thinking results in depression and I agree…  Negative in and negative out…

So for me it’s be careful little mind what I think…

Mindfulness – God’s Way

I’m taking a mental health class on “Mindfulness” – leaving each moment, in the moment… without judgement is one explanation…

God, the forgiving God, also has no judgement – He just has LOVE!!! He is always ready to hear us… to be mindful with us…

Mental health and mindful are hard… our thoughts are spinning a million miles a minute… self-judgement being the worst…

Being mindful with God is also hard, but totally possible!! I’ve been working on just sitting with God and hearing what He has to say…

I actually have set reminders on my phone to do a mindfulness check throughout the day…

Joyce Meyer’s book Battlefield of the Mind is a must right now… I often listen to it while driving… It gives me nuggets of truth that I can implement… Such as – I have the mind of Christ

I used this truth recently when it seemed like all the walls were collapsing around me… It would have been easy to just give in and allow the darkness to surround me but in claiming this truth I was able to reason that I could figure a way back to light and refute all the negative… And it worked!!!

A goal I have right now is to start my day with God before anything else can distract me… But if I mess up instead of berating myself, I shrug my shoulders and spend time with God right as I realize it… Sometimes that’s my reality… I squirrel and mess up when I first get up… My intentions are honorable but the practicality doesn’t always happen…

And that’s the really cool thing about God, is that no matter how much we mess up He is right there willing to step in and help and correct what needs to be corrected… And as soon as we’ve dealt with it with Him, then condemnation has no place in our lives…

I used to think that even if I confessed what I messed up that someday I would come under condemnation from God but that is far from the truth and is a huge lie of the devil…

Romans 8:1 (NLT): So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:3b (NLT): And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.

Guilt has no place in my life… Consequences still exist… But no guilt… Instead, using the mind of Christ, I can have an attitude of figuring out where to go and how best to deal with the consequences… And how to keep it from happening again…

Checking in with God… Keeping God at the forefront of my daily walk… Being mindful of God in all my choices IS the best way to deal with depression…

Doing what I KNOW to be within God’s will will keep me from debilitating guilt and when we choose to do what is right… Being mindful with what is right, how can depression squeeze in…

What about the times I don’t know what is right or best? Anxiety can take over OR I can recall that I have the mind of Christ and that He will help me figure out what to do… His special gift, the Helper, will guide me… I just need to make sure I’m listening… That I’m in wise mind mode… Not extreme emotional or overtly rational mind…

It’s something I need to be vigilant about… Hence the phone reminders…

What are you doing to be more mindful in Christ?

Joy Joy Joy Down in My Heart

I’VE GOT JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY DOWN IN MY HEART

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart to stay

Chorus: And I’m so happy oh, so very ha-happy. I have the love of Jesus in my heart (Down in my heart). And I’m so happy, so very happy.

I’ve got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart
I’ve got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart to stay

I’ve got the peace that passes understanding
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart
I’ve got the peace that passes understanding
Down in my heart (where?)
Down in my heart to stay

I’ve got the wonderful love of my blessed Redeemer
Way down in the depths of my heart (where?)
Down in the depths of my heart (where?)
Down in the depths of my heart
I’ve got the wonderful love of my blessed Redeemer
Way down in the depths of my heart (where?)
Down in the depths of my heart to stay

(Old Sunday school song I remember)

It’s true, some of the things we have learned sink with us deep down… To me the opposite of depression is joy… Philippians 4: 4-7 talks about rejoicing… But how do you go from depression to joy? By reusing the joy you already have stored up… Thinking and deliberately remember joyous times with God… Truths about who God is… And just as importantly truth about who you are in Christ…

It’s the mental game that’s hardest with mental health… It’s not easy but it’s possible to train our minds…

Lately, I’ve been re-reading Joyce Meyer’s book The Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle of Your Mind… If you haven’t read it, get a hold of a copy (eBay used $4)… The book is rich with scripture verses that specifically target our mind and remind us that we have the mind of Christ… Given to us upon salvation (not sure if you are saved? See the bottom of this post)…

I’ve set up on my phone several reminders throughout the day to check the state of my mind… Am I remaining in a positive mind? If I find that I haven’t I make the mental choice to make changes… Why am I not? Stressed out about something? What’s the reason behind allowing the stress… Yes… ALLOWING the stress…

Is there something I need to do different? Have I put something off? Have I forgotten the truths: Phil 4: 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength or 2 Cor 2:16 For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.and with His help I can find my way out of stress?

Am I upset about something? Something I did? If I made a wrong choice then I need to repent AND not beat myself up over it… Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ JesusOnce something is forgiven it’s done with… Satan loves to make us squirm over past wrongs…

So is it as easy as switching on a lightbulb? Ahhh… No… It’s a long process… But something that does get a bit easier each day…

Tuesday I had issue after issue coming up… Things out of my control… A computer program messed up my data, even my backup… which has resulted in hours of work being needed… Other things were also not going as planned and I also found myself berating myself over mistakes… Frankly, it was a really lousy morning but I realized that and when I did I made choices to get out of that funk… I cried out to God asking him for help to remain using the mind of Christ… My old habits of beating myself up are strong, but not as strong as last week and less strong than the week before… I had to slow down, stop and realize what my thoughts were… They were negative and the “desire” to remain in pity mode was there as was the temptation to just give in and “remain as is”…

My thoughts went from… Well, isn’t this just great, seems about right usually the loss of data is something that would happen only to me!

And changed to: Ok… That didn’t go as planned, but I know I need to deal with it and I’m going to pray the God will help me figure out how to redo what was lost. Maybe there was something in the data that was wrong and could have been costly… I’m going to believe God’s word Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose... Somehow God will work everything out and it will be just fine… Phil 4:19 And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

These are truths, not lies of the devil, and I need to believe these truths and live out my life with them and that includes keeping in the mind of Christ…

Then, throughout the rest of the day I checked in with myself to see how my thinking was and made corrections… I can recall positive past outcomes with God for reassurance… That’s the reason for the Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart…

Salvation: it’s a once-in-a-lifetime decision… it’s accepting Jesus into Your heart… More detailed information and an example of the sinner’s prayer can be found here

If today is the day you made this decision, congratulations and welcome to the forever family… Don’t keep it as a secret to yourself… Tell somebody! Then find a good church to plug into…

Not sure where to find one? Check out any churches in your area that run a Celebrate Recovery and also think about attending their program… You’ll find the love and support you need…

For the Love of a Dog

We, like many others, have a very lovable dog… she has been a great companion as I deal with mental health issues…

And, yesterday, she needed surgery on her leg… last night she was in so much pain that we took her back to the vet and she stayed overnight… (she’s home and doing much better now)…

But until we dropped her off again she was whimpering non-stop… and she isn’t a whiner… But it was SOOO HARD to listen to… Holding her to try to make her as comfortable as possible… Feeling powerless…

It got me thinking about how hard it must be for God to listen to us “whimpering” away when He is the ultimate source of comfort and He desires to be taking us under the shadow of His wings...

I didn’t even consider God for a LONG time…

With mental health, it’s so easy to be caught in the downward spiral and what starts as a whimper can turn into something… and our self-talk is often so negative… mine got to the point I didn’t even consider God for a LONG time… I was convinced that my family would be SOOO much better off without me…

Of course, God is always at the ready… He hears our whimpers and more than understand our pain… after all, He was truly and utterly abandoned in the garden before His arrest and eventual crucifixion… He was in so much distress He sweated blood…

He understands and is always ready for us – we just have to turn around…

When 3 Becomes 5

With my last blog posting I mentioned my miracle and how I suddenly have no vertigo and balance is really not an issue anymore, except that my muscles have to get used to not being an issue 🙂

The lady that prayed for me told me to expect continued healing and that has been the case!

I still have more energy… Sleeping less and overall I feel the best I have in at least 10 years!!

Sometimes healing is slower and not always instant…

A lot of this, really goes back to an event that happened in February… We have an Art Life program at our church… We gather once a month and together have a theme and do whatever art we choose/feel lead to fo whether it be drawing, painting, reading poetry or anything else…

I hadn’t attended in quite some time, especially because my meds were not working as they needed to be… But when I went in February I had not one or two but three times – no, make that 4 times people sought me out and prayed for me…

The first was simply saying that God has noted my struggles and also my faithfulness… it came in the way of written words, something I will treasure…

Second was a lady who spoke to the group showing a drawn piece of art… That she had been working on for a while… She had written some on the back and said that now she understood God wanted to give it to someone specific… Me… Another treasure…

The next was prayer… A special guest asked if anyone wanted prayer… I was on a roll and I didn’t want it to end!

Her prayer over me was  encouraging to keep going as I was and forecast good events in the distance… that my art could become something more than just personal…

The 4th… no wait… the 5th, nope still the 4th… was immediately after the third and she said that while I was being prayed for by the other lady, she had a vision in which she saw me shaking off snow and breaking free of what has held me down…

Needless to say – I was  beyond buzzed… At this point…

The last one was “to let go of holding in my creative self” with child like abandonment… This was from a man, who I had never been introduced to

Back then, it was hard to tell my stick dog from my stick horse…

So, with child like faith, I started to work on my art skills… I’m no Picasso (who really understands his art) Rembrandt…  but I’m working on it… Drawing, painting and Bible journaling (which I absolutely love doing!!!!)…

AND a few days ago I was really missing my music side of creativity… I bought a used keyboard yesterday and I’m SOOOOO loving it! For the price I paid… It’s more than what hoped for…

So I will end my babbling on… I had honestly only remembered 3 things from Feb… And now that 3 has become 5…

Vertigo You Gotta Go!

May 2, 1997 was a night that changed my life and the lives of my family… I was in an accident which resulted in a fractured skull, a brain injury and VERTIGO…

If you’ve never had vertigo feel blessed! For those that have you know it is a nasty thing to deal with… It drastically effects your balance…

Over the years I learned how to move and not move my head to invoke vertigo…

When my first grandchild was announced, I spent time in physio to help regain my balance and be able to chase after the grandkids – determined to not just be the rocking chair and stories grandma… It took a lot of work but I re-taught my brain how to balance better…

Fact: Balance is based on 3 things… Ears, eyes and the top of your spine…

My ears caused vertigo so they didn’t help… My neck has arthritis and didn’t really help (so I was told at physio)… That left my eyes… (And my feet also could detect “flat” surfaces to help, thanks to physio)…

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago… And I was at a church bonfire get together… It was all great UNTIL sun was down… We were out in the country… No street lights, no real light pollution, except the bonfire… And it was in a field… A bumpy field…

I was literally fighting really hard not to have a nasty fall… Wobbling like a Webble when a lady, who I had only briefly met, noticed me desperately stumbling… She offered to pray for me…

Now, when I had my accident I perforated my left eardrum… So my hearing on my left was less than ideal…

As she prayed my left ear started hearing TOTALLY different than my right ear… When we speak or listen our ears detect the vibrations… It was as if she was praying inside my left ear! About 100 times louder…

When she finished I could hear better with my left ear than my right ear! And the vertigo is completely gone!! I can move my head in any direction and no vertigo spell is triggered!!!!!!!!!

After 22 years, I could stand and walk on a bumpy field as if nothing was ever wrong!

The next time I see my doctor I plan to have him look into my ear and confirm what I already know… It’s perfect!

So does God still perform miracles? Of course… God is the same today, yesterday and forever

God Uses a Pouch

If you have ever seen the movie Hook, based on the story of Peter Pan, there is the wonky uncle who keeps looking for his bag of marbles… At the end of the movie, he finds his bag… They had been left at Neverland years before when he was a lost boy …

The Bible refers to treasures a few times… Mary had her treasure…

Luke 2:19 (NIV): But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

But with regards to mental health I found and like this gem:

1 Samuel 25:29 (NLT): “Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his TREASURE POUCH!

With all the events surrounding the birth of Christ, Mary tucked everything she could so she could be able to close her eyes and relive those moments… As a mother, I have treasured memories hidden inside my heart of events of my children…

What can be hard about mental health is we devalue ourselves…

I don’t know about you but sometimes my choices, even daily choices, are based on the value I see in myself…

It’s easy to see the value of others but we sure can be hard on ourselves…

And I hide some of the tough days because I don’t want others to think of me as “that lady”… The screw up… The nut job…

Even with family, who I know all love me, at times I worry about embarrass them…

The “cure” for self devaluing is spending time with God… Seeing how He sees us…

God uses a pouch…

One two three WOW!

It’s been a couple of interesting weeks…

2. Twenty two years ago I was in an accident and not only fractured my skull but also damaged my inner ear… Looking up and left would trigger 99% of the time…

1. I’m dealing with a med change… For the better actually! I haven’t had this much energy in at least 10 years!

2. I have dealt with vertigo for over 20 years after an accident damaged my inner ear… I could pretty much guarantee but every time I looked up and left – I would trigger it and end up dizzy…

I was healed… I can’t trigger any vertigo! And now my left ear hears better than my right ear!!People around me were talking in little groups… I went up to a few and listened with both ears to test the truth… I’ve always sat to the left of people to have a better chance… No longer an issue!!!

While at a church event I ended up really REALLY staggering while outside and around a bon fire… Two ladies prayed and one clasped her hands over both ears… About 2 seconds in I suddenly hear way different with my damaged left ear…

A new church campus is opening up in a few months and my desire to get involved was way bigger than my body would allow… Now with my vertigo gone… With the med change giving me energy, to get involved, God has fulfilled some of my heart’s desires!

I’m guessing some people might think I’m just “one of those” type of Christians… BUT we all know God can heal… So why is it hard to when one does?!?!?

3. We have a must do project to do on our house, but we don’t want to go into debt to get it done dot-dot-dot I made a phone call that I had been meaning to do… God literally put the papers I needed in my hand while clearing up some wayward papers… I made the phone call and 100% unexpected it turns out that we will now have the money we require! God is good… All the time! All the time, God is good!!!!!

(read this about 5 minutes after posting)

Releasing Impossibilities

by Charles R. Swindoll

Read Matthew 6:25-34

When you face an impossibility, leave it in the hands of the Specialist! Refuse to calculate. Refuse to doubt. Refuse to work it out by yourself. Refuse to worry or encourage others to worry. Stand against that.

Instead, say, “Lord, I’m carrying around something I cannot handle. Because You are not only able but also willing, take this off my hands. It’s impossible to me, but is as nothing with You.” Persevering through the pressures of impossibilities calls for that kind of confidence.

Now, our problem is that we hold on to our problems. If your Swiss watch stops working, you don’t sit down at home with a screwdriver and start working on it yourself. You take it to a specialist.

The problem is that the Lord gets all the leftovers after we try to fix things ourselves. We make all the mistakes and get things tied into granny knots, then dump it in His lap and say, “Here, Lord.”

No! Right at first, say, “It’s impossible; I can’t handle it, Lord. Before I foul it up, it’s Yours.” He is able to handle it. But we don’t usually give God those chances to “fix” it. We are so totally (and sinfully) confident in ourselves that we don’t give God the chance to do what He is a real Specialist at doing.

If something is humanly impossible, then what in the world are we doing trying to pull it off?

Excerpted from Day by Day with Charles Swindoll, Copyright © 2000 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. (Thomas Nelson Publishers). All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.

From 1% Failure to 100% Success

Oh, those days when life seems hopeless… When mental health issues are kicking my butt…

I don’t know about you… But I have times I feel like I am worthless, frustrated… That my life seems to be useless… and to some it might seem like a “pity party” but it really isn’t pity… It’s something more insidious… How we perceive ourselves…

If you think you aren’t worthy just compare yourself to:

David… A bad parent… A murder… A person who dealt with lust… BUT YET God calls him “the man after God’s heart 💓

Abraham… He is caught for 2 big lies that affected other people big time… His faith can be called into question when he slept with another woman – because God hadn’t filled His promise…

Aaron, brother to Moses… His brother goes awry for a few days and he not only caves his faith in God… He CREATED his own physical God! This is the man who was present and involved in the plagues in Egypt…

Keep your faith, make sure you keep up on any medications prescribed (we still have a brain chemical imbalance)…

Cain… Bad attitude, oh and a murderer! God didn’t zap him away from earth…

God created us for a reason… and therefore we are only to check out on His timeline… Of that I’m 100% sure…

Reach out when you need it most…

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