Lately Several Days Have Attacked Me at Once

Perspective is an interesting thing… I, like many others, had my issues dealing with the threat of Covid and the uncertainty… family members that are high risk… then a family member became deathly ill… and suddenly Covid didn’t seem as important…

For the last 3 months a close family member has been very ill… they have come close to death a few times… and the doctor’s are still trying to settle everything down… add to that dealing with a loved one in hospital during Covid – you know, when it’s really hard to see them… it took WEEKS before anyone could get in for a visit… and those visits have been very tough emotionally… communication between our family and the hospital has been less than stellar many times which has only added to the anxiety of the unknown… this illness has led to life altering issues… it’s also raised issues from long ago – triggers that I have had to deal with… things I thought I had maybe dealt with – but actually hadn’t… at least not fully…

Added to that – I was given clearance to return to work 6 months ago (yeah!!) after being off for 6 years… while things were moving slowly – there was finally light at the end of the tunnel… and then the light turned out to be a train… lol… my employer decided I have been out of the workforce for too long and no longer want to recognize my skills and training… (after they had offered me a carrot, let me taste it – then snatched it away…) I can honestly understand their position – it is something I have thought about myself – and that I have taken steps to refresh my training and been bringing my knowledge up to date with any changes that have happened over the time I have been off… and I actually had a plan to present to them – but unilaterally they rescinded the position they had promised…

Life always has other stressed… and I won’t go into detail about those… but I think you can now see that indeed – several days attacked me at once… or so it seemed…

Spiritually, it’s easy to say I am under attack… and to be honest, it has thrown me into a spiral quite a few times… Not back where I was when I had to leave work and deal with my mental health illness… but far enough that it really, really threw me off track…

But God is always there… that is one certainty…

As a friend likes to quote – Only God can open a door that was closed and close a door that no one can open…

For 6 .5 years I have been honing skills – growing closer to God… learning who I am in Christ…

I’ve learned “tricks” that can help keep my grounded… which isn’t easy as my life has the challenges of a brain injury and ADHD… I’m much more than just “squirrel”… I’m more like – squirrel – is that a walnut he’s holding? Isn’t mom’s dining table made of walnut? Walnut square – I haven’t had that for a while… Square – can be divided into 2 triangles… angles – can be obtuse or acute – cute – weren’t those shoes I saw my daughter wear the other day cute? And this all happens in 1.2 seconds in my brain…

The tricks I have learnt are in grounding myself in Christ – reminders to pray EVERYDAY:

  • I am putting on the armour of God… that I have the mind of Christ
  • God is the One who makes you and us strong in Christ. God made us his chosen people.
  • Proverbs 11:29 Godly people find life
  • God is the One who makes you and us strong in Christ. God made us his chosen people.
  • That during trials I can pray out to Him – and that He will ALWAYS answer.
  • Habakkuk 3:17-19 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms (that the world around me seems to suck)… vs 18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
  • 2 Cor 4:6 For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

I could continue but I have these as either prayers or as popups on my phone throughout the day…

I will admit – there are times I simply swipe them away – and times I really don’t want to – and sometimes don’t – pray…

It seemed like I was floating along and doing SOOO well for awhile… and just like Israel – it’s easy to forget about spending that quality time with God… then when things crash – it’s easy to sink into a depression… into despair…

I’m not completely out of the woods… but thanks to friends who I reached out to – I’m back to taking control with God’s help…

For me, mental health is still really a daily battle… I know I won’t take as long to recover from this crash as I did 6 years ago… I didn’t sink nearly as low… but low enough it scared me… and made me humble before my God…

I built my support system through Celebrate Recovery – if you haven’t checked it out – you need to… it doesn’t matter what type of issue you bring with you – someone there has battled the same things… the recovery isn’t just addictions like drugs & alcohol – but also addiction to negative thinking, addiction to co-dependency – addiction to foods – addiction to being treated poorly and low self-worth… addiction to hearing more from Satan than God… any type of hurt, habit or hang-ups… God is always there…

Getting Through the Crisis

A crisis at any time is challenging… add on mental health issues and it can seem like a perfect storm…

Right now it seems like the entire world is in crisis. COVID-19 isn’t racist… it effecting every race and pretty much every country…

What’s different about this crisis is you aren’t alone… we are all here working through it together… and we can support each other… maybe not through hugs or physical contact with friends, but either at the 6 foot distance or online through video chats…

One important thing to remember through this is – there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… We are NOT to feel guilt over past sins, after we confess them to God… Satan loves to trap us in condemnation… instead God promises to use ALL things for good, according to His purpose, for those who are in Christ Jesus!! In other words, all the bad/crappy/negative events in your life can and will be used to help others here on earth… so if you are feeling condemnation how can that event be used for good?!?!?!?! Don’t believe Satan’s lie!

I was reading through Insight for Living (Chuck Swindoll) and came across this list of okay things during a crisis:

  1. It’s okay to be mad and angry.
  2. It’s okay to sleep when you are exhausted.
  3. It’s okay to not know the answer.
  4. It’s okay to feel lost.
  5. It’s okay to feel scared.
  6. It’s okay to cry.
  7. It’s okay to doubt your beliefs and convictions.
  8. It’s okay to lose or forget things.
  9. It’s okay to have huge emotional shifts.
  10. It’s okay to say, “Though I don’t like this now, I will choose to believe God is sitting by me, so I might as well talk with Him about it all.”

WE don’t have all the answers… NO ONE PERSON DOES!!!!!!

So how do we survive? The simple answer is God… But what does that really mean? It means trusting God. Believing what you read in the Bible… Putting into practice all the morals and God truths learned in Sunday School… following through on all the things Jesus taught when He was on earth (Matthew 5 and the Blessed are statements are a great place to start)…

It also means turning your problems and issues over to Christ…

Many years ago I found myself in a crisis… through something I had been reading God gave me a message I REALLY REALLY didn’t want to hear… it meant huge changes in my life and I was powerless to change anything… God brought me to Philippians 4:4-7 and I found the steps to peace… it wasn’t easy and it took MANY hours on my face before God… at first I argued against what was coming… then I realized how futile that was… here was God preparing me to go through my toughest battle I had ever fought… He was giving me time to prepare… to press into Him for the strength I would need…

Philippians 4:4 states “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.” Always? Yes… it is possible… but how? For me I turned to praise songs… I sang every upbeat Christian song I could thing of… Rejoicing is SOOOOO important that God states it again… “and again I say rejoice!

Verse 5 says: “Let your gentleness be evident to all” for a long time I thought that this verse was out of place but then I realized that if I am really at a point of rejoicing then I am not all worked up (BPD Emotional Mind) but instead I am working towards peace and everyone should want what I am showing…

Verse 6: “Do not be anxious, but in every situation , with prayer and petition, present your request(s) to God“… mine was simple… I needed God’s strength to get through what I was facing… there were sub-parts we also discussed…

Verse 7: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” That peace, unexplainable, overwhelmingly wonderful peace really did come… and I still can’t put it into words… if you have worked through all the steps and then are wondering if you have “that” Peace… I can tell you – you don’t… when you truly have it, you will know… and if you haven’t found it yet start back at the top… go back to rejoicing… rejoicing until you feel God presence with you…

Six weeks after gaining God’s peace, the crisis moment came and there were many tough days… but I can tell you this… at the moment it happened, I still had that peace and I knew that while tough times were ahead, God was with me… a few days later I had a co-worker asked me why I was able to function and not a “basket case”… she saw that peace in me and wanted it… already God was using these events for good… that joyous peace and closeness to God lasted many, many months…

A friend actually told me she was jealous of me… you see, it’s hard to be that close to God in the long run… mountain peaks and valleys are a part of life… she had gone through a similar crisis and remembered how wonderful that peace, that incredible closeness with God had been…

I’ve dealt with many crisis since… some larger than others… and I can always go back to that time… and know that God is always with me… in some ways, that peace never leaves… the memory always remains…

Even during my mental health crisis, I knew deep down that God was there… my brain chemistry was horribly messed up and God has had some lessons for me to learn… now, I’m so much stronger in my faith… I had allowed myself to slide away from God… rely on my own strength and ended up spending a lot of time in the psych ward or community short stay residence over the next couple of years…

So what changed? God ALWAYS has a way off the spiral… I had to be willing to not only look for those spots but be willing to step off and accept God’s help… I’ve gone from extremely suicidal, with non-stop thoughts and many plans to not having had a suicidal thought now in a LONG time…

Don’t get me wrong, mental health is still a daily battle… only now I have safety’s in place… reminders of God’s truths, mental health mood checks several times day (phone reminders), frequently listening to Christian music… friends who care and will notice if they see something happening and warn me and also willing to call on my crap – keeping me accountable… of course, I have my family who love and support me…

COVID-19 did knock me on my butt for awhile… my anxiety was higher than normal… I fought sliding into a depression along with negative thoughts and have come out the winner… I refer back to Philippians 4:4-7 often when I catch myself anxious… God provided me with timely therapy to not only challenge my twisted thinking but also the skills and tools to make the changes… it’s been hard work… and I’ve used those tools… God’s Holy Spirit inside of me often speaks to me and warns me if I’m getting off track… that still small voice… it still rings of peace…

Mindfulness Time With God

Let’s face it – right now, life can be pretty stressful…

Concerns about health – physically and mentally… heightened anxiety… it’s easy to become depressed… to spiral down…

I’ve been struggling with my eating habits… just eating too much crap… and I’ve been excusing it as a “way to cope”… but it is unhealthy… I’ve got a couple of other stressors happening as well…

It’s so easy to turn to food… or binge TV or any other “idol” for comfort instead of to God… it’s part of our built in sinful nature – BUT we can change that… we need to get into the habit of turning to God instead…

Mindfulness is a popular term these days – being aware of the moment… fully participating… Un-mindfulness is where we do things without thinking – eg. cooking a dinner and scarf it down in 2 minutes… not really taking the time to enjoy our meal… or arriving at home but can’t really remember how we got there… I’m sure you have experienced something similar…

To be mindful with God is to stay focused on what you are doing with God… if you are praying – the try to stay just praying… not planning your grocery list or thinking about what you need to do next… this is the “quiet time”

Matthew 6:6 states: But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

It’s just a time between you and God… now, if you are like me then you might be like Doug from the movie up – squirrel! It is SOOO easy to be distracted… know that God isn’t keeping score and God doesn’t condemn anymore than you would scorn a child who is trying to bake cookies for the first time… He has incredible patience and He is simply thrilled that you are spending one on one time with Him!! Just like baking – the more you do it – the easier it becomes to stay focused…

So if you find your mind is wandering, simply bring it back to a focus on prayer… no judgement or condemnation allowed!!! That judgement isn’t from God but rather from Satan who is trying his hardest TO distract us… be gentle on yourself…

As a friend reminded me, of John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world.”

Peace is really what we are after here… peace despite the storm… and God is a peace giver… there are so many scriptures that talk about peace… here is a few of my favorites:
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 16:20 The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

And my all time favorite: Philippians 4:4-7 from the Amplified Bible: Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, take pleasure in Him]; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit [your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience] be known to all people. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].

Verse 8 provides alternative things to think about: Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].

The truth is what will give us peace – getting out of negative mind mode…
thoughts of:
We have the mind of Christ
We have overwhelming victory despite what is going on around us
We can protect ourselves with the full armor of God
We cannot be separated from God – not Covid or lack of prayer or not spending time with God
We are ALL welcome to join Christ in heaven (when the time is right)

In another blog posting I will take you through Philippians 4:4-8 and how God showed me one night when I was faced with a massive dilemma – and instead I did end up with that indescribable peace…

Let me know in the comments if you have questions, any verses to add or better yet – if you have success!! 🙂

Radical Acceptance God’s Way

One of the skills I learned at DBT is called Radical Acceptance…

Basically, it’s when you find yourself in a situation you REALLY don’t
like… and the reality is – there is nothing you can do about it…

With Covid-19 we are finding ourselves in just this type of situation… and we have a choice… we can react with emotional mind in full swing – hissy fits, angry, snapping at everyone and everything, depression, anxiety…

Or we can choose to accept it knowing we are powerless to make any change…

With Borderline Personality Disorder, it’s really easy to find ourselves at one of 2 ends of the spectrum – either we are in Emotional Mind or we can be stuck in Reasonable Mind…

Radical Acceptance is the concept that reality, just as it is, must be
accepted, rather than fought fighting against it. Fighting it really just causes suffering that can be worse than whatever we are facing… it doesn’t negate the situation… but it’s a choice to move forward instead of staying and being miserable…

Marsha Linehan has a great website which she explains the concept: Radical Acceptance

So how does God fit into this? First, realize that God DOES NOT cause our problems or situation… those are a direct result of free will – you know, when we have a choice to do good or evil… often the wrong choices of others is what directly leads to whatever situation we find ourselves in – this includes illness.

When Adam and Eve were created they had perfect bodies… multiple generations, bad food choices and other decisions, have lead to our relatively fragile body… God didn’t create Covid… God is LOVE and love cannot create evil or bad events…

I found myself in a really hard situation a short while ago. A close
relative became deathly ill (non-Covid) – so ill that even with the hospital lockdown and Covid, I was called to their bedside and in all likelihood, they were not expected to survive the night…

Was it fair? No – did I like it? No! Did God cause it? Of course not – but He does grieve over such events. I had a choices – I could have found myself in Emotional Mind and had out of control emotions or I could have headed to Rational Mind and totally shutdown what I was feeling and head into another reality or fantasy world (dissociation) or, and the best choice, I could turn to God knowing I was powerless but that He is the Great Physician and my Comforter!

I choose the later – as I was leaving the hospital, wondering if I would see my loved one alive again (the doctor’s said her getting through the night was tentative) I turned to God for comfort – the Author and Perfecter of my faith… and He delivered… I started listening to Christian music and I heard a new to me song – Still by Hillsong – and it touched my soul… my soul was groaning… but this was soothing… when I arrived home I continued to press into God – praying, worshipping and praising Him through songs that just kept coming…

I chose to accept the situation and God guided me through this acceptance… I had peace – even as I was rushing to the hospital I had peace… leaving the hospital I continued having peace…

FYI – the family member miraculously survived and is on the mend… some doctor’s we know says it was only the prayers that we being uttered that made the difference… looking at how serious the test results were, it really is a miracle…

But I think that should they have passed away (graduated to heaven), I would have still had peace… that doesn’t mean I wasn’t upset or in tears… I have found that you can have indescribable peace in any situation… life, death, family crisis, personal crisis… God is always there for me…

His Radical Acceptance is turning the control of the situation over to Him… relying on His love and strength to get me through… and He has NEVER failed me yet… if a situation comes up where I don’t have peace it is because I haven’t looked to Him for the support I need…

God says – Come unto me for my yoke is light… and He does lift my burdens…

Anxiety and How to Apply Psalms

I have been dealing with “stuff” and I know that from the past claiming and applying the attributes of God found in Scripture… the Psalms are really rich – the enemy, instead of being the Edomites or Moabites or any other “ites”, is satan… today my devotions too me to

Psalm 83 (NLT)
O God, do not be silent!
Do not be deaf.
Do not be quiet, O God.
Don’t you hear the uproar of your enemy? (God, I really need your help)
Don’t you see that your arrogant enemies are riding up?
They devise craft schemes against your people; they conspire against our precious ones.
“Come,” they say, “let us wipe out Israel as a nation.
We will destroy the very memory of its existence.” (They are coming at me from every way!)
Do to them as your did to …
They were destroyed at …
Let their mighty nobles die…
Let all their princes die… (Lord, I know of your power as your have shown many times before, in history and in my own life!)
for they said, “Let us seize for our own use these pastureland’s of God!” (God, don’t let them take away my green pasture where you have led me!)
Oh my God, scatter them like tumbleweed, like chaff before the wind! (May you remove them – and their arguments as far as the east is from the west! I know that You alone have the power to protect me and separate me like this)
As a fire burns a forest and as a flame sets mountains ablaze,
chase them with your fierce storm;
terrify them with your tempest. (Father, totally cleanse me and remove them)
Utterly disgrace them until they submit to your name, O Lord.
Let them be ashamed and terrified forever.
Let them die is disgrace. (Lord, let them be sent into a herd of pigs! )
Then they will learn that you alone are called Lord, that you alone are the Most High, supreme over all the earth. (Then because they will be submissive to your superiority, I and others will be able to acknowledge You as the Most High, the Lord of Lords and the One true God!)

Honestly, just writing this posting today has removed a LOT of my anxiety, so if only 1 other person reads this and finds some comfort, then I am pleased that from my trial someone else will find some peace…

What to Pray

“I’ll pray for you”… so easily said… sometimes the delivery it is what I call a popcorn prayer… a quick instant prayer pops in and out… and that might be all that needed… a 2 hour prayer is not needed for a child’s skinned knee…

Then there is the next level of prayer…. the Sunday morning… more thought put into it… a longer appeal to God… where 2 or more are gathered… it might be something that the prayer ends with one longer and more intense prayer session…

And prayer chain prayers… more acute – someone in hospital, someone quite desperate for money or a job or something even more intent… something that sticks with you as you go about your day and you pray in the spirit through out the day…

There are other issues we can pray about… but that’s not my focus here today… my focus is on personal praying – especially for people with mental health issues

My focus is on how to pray
for anyone dealing with mental health
and the answer is straight from the Bible…

1 Timothy 2:1b …pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them

We all know to pray for all people… the intercede – to me that is what continues as home… intercessory prayer continues… long term praying… the get out the journal and write down to remember to… and to follow up and see what updates have happened….

thanks… I hadn’t ever thought about giving thanks when praying for someone dealing with a serious situation… but the more I think about it – the more it makes sense…

When someone gives thanks for someone they are saying they are valuable… that they have purpose and a reason to stick around… they may need some convincing but what a lovely way to end a prayer for anyone… and especially those battling depression or other mental health issues

Prayer is needed – and consistent prayer is called for… Dan 10:20 tells of the event of an answer to prayer being delay because of a spiritual battle…

So 3 things on what to pray :

Ask God to help them

Intercede on their behalf

Give thanks for them

Mental Health with Prudence

When I am in the middle of a mental health battle everything can and usually does seem wrong – bad – against me – nothing is going right and “NEVER” will again… and we all know that this is bunk when we are at the other side of the battle… 

The battles are dark and potentially deadly… and because of the deadly part – wisdom needs to be used… 

Proverbs 8:5-6 (NIV)
You who are simple, gain prudence;

You who are foolish, set your hearts on it. 
Listen, for I [widsom] have trustworthy things to say;
I open my lips to speak what is right.

Prudence:
1: the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason
2: sagacity or shrewdness in the management of affairs
3: skill and good judgment in the use of resources
4: caution or circumspection as to danger or risk

So #2 doesn’t really apply here but the other 3 most certainly do! 

#1 Govern and reason – Reason and mental health – basically mortal enemies and not used as a pun – 2 Cor 10:3-5 How do these words, arguments line up with God’s words and truth? It isn’t just a thoughts game – it is a Spiritual battle! Battle plan – praying, praying and more praying – and reaching out to have my network pray… 
#3 Skill and judgments and resources – as a Christian I have my Bible and my trusting “Bible First Aid Kit” – memories of dark times I have been through with God – verses in the Bible that talk to me about how irrational my behavior and thoughts are
#4 Caution – Keeping in touch with family and friends – my support network really helps keep me from big slides… I am accountable to them and they help me if they see changes in my behavior… 

Journalling – for me – journalling is important – I can look back and see success and joy!

But how about the hard times? Aren’t those depressing? 

No – I get to look back and see how God got me through the hard times! I get to look back and see just how far God has brought me! I get to go back and know that God has already helped me fight bigger battles and won them – so I know that whatever battle I find myself in – God will get me through now… 

This is called WISDOM – knowledge is knowing something can happen – WISDOM is putting knowledge into practice… 

My Temple & Talk with God Today

Eze 44:5–8 Take careful note of the procedures for using the Temple’s entrances and exits. 6 And give these rebels, the people of Israel, this message from the Sovereign LORD: O people of Israel, enough of your detestable sins! 7 You have brought uncircumcised foreigners into my sanctuary—people who have no heart for God. In this way, you defiled my Temple even as you offered me my food, the fat and blood of sacrifices. In addition to all your other detestable sins, you have broken my covenant. 8 Instead of safeguarding my sacred rituals, you have hired foreigners to take charge of my sanctuary.

Back in Ezekiel’s day, God’s temple was a single building. Built with VERY specific measurements. Here the prophet’s role was to teach the Israelites not only how to physically rebuild God’s temple where Jehovah was going to return to but to also instruct the populations on how to change their ways when seeking forgiveness and worshipping God.

God has particular and well laid out rules (which no person actually keep which is why Jesus came as the final sin offering)…

Now, I deal with food addiction… food has always been a comfort for me… a way to stuff myself and my anxiety away… well – we all know what happens with that…

I have lost about 150 lbs in the last 5 years – but lately, the scale has been going the wrong way… I can easily pop off a few excuses (definition of excuse: skin of the truth stuffed with a lie) and humanly “justify” it

The reality is – my body IS God’s temple

God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple

1 Cor 3:16-17  16 Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in[a] you? 17 God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple

1 Cor 6:19-20 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

So- while I was talking with Him today – here is what we chatted about…

My child, you are reading about My temple – all the sacrifices, all the ways that were  necessary to purify the priests… verse 6 “enough of your detestable sins!” You have brought in things and defiled my temple – your body IS my temple! I have been nudging you about this – and even now I SHOUTING this and hitting you like a football linebacker! You have been ignoring my nudges – and are bearing the consequences of your disobedience… 

How many more times will you choose to not listen? the longer you choose to not listen, the quieter my Voice is to hear… 

Lord, You know my thoughts right now – You can see the turmoil stirring up inside! the fear of failing – “yet again” – all those voices of doubt… the feeling of being overwhelmed … But yet I know that with you NOTHING is impossible… You have helped me to build my rock based house – You have built is strong with bricks of truth, of testimony, with scripture that does not change, with the covenants which You hold true. You have supplied the mortar with the word of your testimony, of the miracles of have experienced, of your faithfulness, of Your love and it is my hope and with faith, I can use it to continue building… 

Not So Perfect Just Like Me

One easy mental health issue to constantly deal with, and actually for many people, is self-worth…

Since childhood I have read and been taught all the big stories in the Bible… Joseph and his coat of many colors… Moses dramatically rescuing the Israelites… David… Who can forget David and Goliath!

And then there are the apostles! The chosen few… Peter, John, Luke, Matthew…

And Paul… Went on a road trip dealt with Jesus… Instantly converted (wouldn’t you if you had been blinded by heavenly light?)

The book of Acts and the rest of the new testament (past Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are the letters to Christians and many are from Paul

So Paul is a big time perfect Christian example right!?!?

My MH voices love to tell me what a loser I am… That I’m not good enough… That I’m a failure… That I don’t deserve anything at all… At times I don’t deserve the air I breathe…

And as a Christian… The whole stigma of how can I call myself a Christian if I have MH issues!

I read a devotional today that popped the apostles, and specifically Paul, being “PERFECT” (Chuck Swindoll is one of my top 5 Christian leaders ever)

2 Corinthians 10:10 (NLT): For some say, “Paul’s letters are demanding and forceful, but in person he is weak, and his speeches are worthless!”

Read the devotional and learn how flawed Paul was…

Remember Moses was a murderer, Abraham was a liar, David was an adulterer, Samuel was arrogant, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Peter denied Jesus on the very night Jesus really needed him, Jacob was a thief…

Job, Elijah, Elisha, David and others battled mental health issues… Elijah wanted to die and laid out under a tree where there was no food or water…

I wonder if Saul was Bipolar? (This is my personal, unsubstantiated thought)… He flipped and flipped on issues…

I could go on and on…

So how is it that I can have mental health issues AND call myself a Christian? Easy… I’m human… I have a physical illness where my brain doesn’t work like people who don’t deal with mental health issues… My brain no longer makes the CHEMISTRY I need… (the same as a diabetic’s pancreas no longer makes insulin…

I am definitely a God fearing, thankful loved unconditionally by God person. I believe that Christ came to earth, that He died for my sins and that He conquered death in rising from the dead and later ascended to heaven…

I also can claim that there is not a perfect person on earth today… And hasn’t been for about 2000 years…

Job 5:7 (NLT) People are born for trouble as readily as sparks fly up from a fire…

After Adam and Eve enjoyed their fruit salad way back when we all mess up… Regardless of the mess – God loves us all the same… The consequences are different, but God’s love never changes…

So when it comes to looking at the Biblical giants – realize they made mistakes and fell flat on their keesters  as well… It doesn’t excuse our short comings… But we can get rid of the thoughts that we need to be perfect… It makes us human and used correctly, God acknowledges it…

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GodTube

I decided to sit and read a book by one of my favorite authors, Grace Livingston Hill, so I put YouTube on with a song list on and settled in…

  • Music – check!
  • Book – check!
  • Snack and something to drink – check check!!
  • Dog tucked in under blanket and snuggled in – check

Ready to read… And then YouTube started or should I say GodTube started… Song after song… Reminder of the depth of God’s love... Balm to my heart and soul… Refreshment for my mind… Strengthening my resolve… – making it so much easier to be still and know that He is God

It turned out I clearly needed worship time with God more than reading a book so I can fulfill the greatest commandments…

Luke 10:27 He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”

Regardless of mental health issues or not – GodTube is just what we need – when we need  – even if we weren’t aware we needed it…