Today was a fairly good day at least for me. We’re in the midst of a major house cleaning and right now it looks like a tornado has hit my house. There have been many bags going to thrift stores as well as recycling. There are empty boxes there are full boxes. There is lots of clutter to clean away. Being ADHD, brain injured (1997) and also dealing with depression and anxiety which leads me even more confused and with increased short term memory problems, it has been very interesting. The last few days i felt like i have worked hard but i don’t have much to show for it, except a whole bunch of recycling bags sitting in my driveway until Friday.
One of the ideas that I have learnt during my therapy is to make a goal and then break it down into several smaller pieces so that you can feel successful. I have also learnt to try to not majorly focus on one thing but rather to move between tasks including tasks of enjoyment. To that end i have taken up crocheting and drawing.
The above is my first attempt digital art on a Samsung galaxy note 8. I’ve also been working on crocheting and becoming more proficient at it. I have a big project to do it again i’m trying to break it down into manageable steps.
The drawing i completed yesterday and today I’ve been focused more on crocheting. Basically i felt pretty good about what i have accomplished both artistically and in cleaning out and de-cluttering the house.
Today hubby came home and i’m guessing he was tired overheated and in pain due to his medical issues. When he came into the bedroom he found something that was the straw on the camels back and he was loud and grumpy, I Felt Many of the same feeling I used to as a child. Messed up. Disappointed. And it was to me the equivalent of “POW” Right in the kisser. So Yes my mood slipped down after and for the last few hours i have been fighting so that I don’t drop into isolation mode or worse. Please know that my hubby is beyond wonderful. He completes me and cherishes me, I’m just blogging about my reaction. He did apologize.
So now with my mood low and anxiety up I’m planing on going to bed as l am exhausted with the effort. | just wish that my internal person is so fragile that simple harsh few few words send me back down a few pegs.and the cycle has started again. In trying to deal With it I Feel overwhelmed, useless,stupid and Unworthy. Now I’m exhausted so until next time WP bloggers.