Tag Archives: stigma

Routines, Jesus & Spirals

My Christian routine has been off lately… Hubby retired, living in a new place, family needs… new commitments, times of sharing with friends, other personal trials… oh – don’t forget that I still deal with Mental Health Issues – and the cherry on the top – a brain injury… (the coconut – ADHD) I NEED …

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Not Always or Every & God Sees

BPD people want to be needed. How I dealt with this.

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Flickering Flame

For the past week I’ve been an inpatient at our local hospital…  In the psych ward…  Major med adjustments…  Tonight hubby will pick me up on a weekend pass…  Next week towards the end of the week I should be released…  Then the next phase of this journey will continue…  Trying to establish a daily …

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Duck season or Wabbit season?

Did anxiety come first or did depression? One thing I know is that they like to play together and play fiendish pranks…  It reminds me of Bugs Bunny arguing with Duffy Duck over who was the target for Elmer Fudd… Bugs Bunny Clip Some days you wake up and depression has decided to take most …

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Out of the Blue

I’m finding that the brain is still such a mystery… ok – not a big surprise really – but still… just when I thought I was starting to understand and maybe gain a bit of control… WHAM!! Suicidal thoughts come out of the blue…. I was driving with friends and the car slid a bit …

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My Toolbox

After a couple of hard days, and thanks to the prayers of friends,  I find myself tonight sleep in a place dedicated to  helping adults overcome mental health issues…  Yesterday after working I was so fatigued in every sense that the darkness surrounded me and I wasn’t sure I could fight it off.  So at …

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The Slope

I find myself sitting on a slope.  I’m surrounded by a heavy darkness that is seeping into my soul…  Below me is a bottomless abyss. Above me is obscured by the darkness and I know it’s where I want to go…  Way above is THE ultimate goal,  namely heaven.  I alone sitting here…  Scared to …

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Ping Pong…

That’s how I feel my life is right now – ping pong – and I’m the ball… getting hit from every which way – with no control and being thrown about by emotional upheaval… Today I had suicidal thoughts again… I had SOOO thought I was past those… I would be one of the ones …

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Show up and leave….

Today was my first time to go back to work… and I was wound up with the thoughts of going in… I had my counseling session (she graciously moved it up 2 days to deal with my anxiety) and had 1 big and 1 moderate anxiety attack – close together… she helped me through them… …

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Brighter day… Reflections… Muses

Today was about the busiest day I have since I hit rock bottom a couple of weeks ago… and it was a GOOD day… good meaning – no thoughts of suicide… no out of control anxiety… a meeting with a team and good 2 way communication… and no heavy crash and burn afterwards… Only 1 …

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