From a Fork to a Juicer

I’m pretty good and keeping up with my journalling and daily time with God… note, pretty good – not perfect… from time to time I’m angry with God (which is NOT a sin) and I don’t want to do my devotions – just to punish Him! Yeah – I know… it only punishes me…

With mental health, there are times that I do my devotions, and even as I write this post, that the deeper understanding – the deeper thinking – of grasping of…… (arrghhh – ok – I’m stuck again – but hopefully you can grasp my point)…

Even when I take time to slow down… to be still and know that He is God… take time to renounce Satan from being around me – it’s like my thoughts can’t connect… sometimes they seem like they are being scrambled like eggs with a fork… sometimes like a protein shake in a blender… or veggies being chopped up in a food processer… and then there is the juicer… rammed in and all the pulp is separated and whatever left is liquified… aaarrrggghhhhhh #2 can’t piece together the rest of the thought… but again – I’m sure most readers should be able to get my point…

It’s really easy to get discouraged… easy to have my scrambled thoughts amplifying in my mind, drowning out anything else… and mental health is a real problem for many people… a pastor’s wife I knew walked out of her house one day… they found her body a few months later… she loved God… she was a valued member of society… a dedicated Christian…

Sometimes I have to guard my own mind as it too wants to go for a long walk.. (but I am safe!)… long walks are thoughts – not plans… but why is this still happening?

Is it because of a lack of faith? Maybe to some degree… or is it no different than someone battling cancer???? Do they have a lack of faith?

Often it “just is”…

Either way – I will keep praying – and using Bible verses that I have in my Bible First Aid Kit…

Spending time with God is NEVER wasted time… God doesn’t owe me anything… He has already covered me with grace…

As I continue my battle… I will listen to Christian music… I will do what I know has helped… and even if I can’t figure out anything deeper than that God loves me, that He has a plan for me… that I have a purpose… that the simple faith of a child is all I need… I will do my best to stick to that…

Jesus said we need to have the faith of a child… Maybe I need to be more literal…

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