Rely on God vs Rely on Me

If you were thinking this was going to be a battle of wills between God and me… NOPE… that ship sailed long ago…

1 John 4:16 (NIV): And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them

A simple enough verse…

  1. Know God
  2. Know one can rely on God
  3. Know one can rely on the love God has for each person
  4. God is love… (HEY!!!) GOD IS LOVE!!!
  5. Live in love
  6. Live in love to live in God
  7. Know that living in love to live in God means God also lives in each person

Got that?

So where is the battle?

It certainly isn’t with God… He’s perfect of course!

So that leaves only one other person… Me…

I don’t know about you but for me starts around #5… Where my job starts…

Praise God… I don’t actually HATE myself anymore! This I know for fact… {God revealed that to me one day, at a Celebrate Recovery worship time… Just a still small voice whispered it to my soul}…

But there are days I don’t like myself and then again days I don’t feel worthy of love…

I’m often have been (and still can be) the “I’ll mess it up as usual” person so “why even bother”… Or “nothing ever works out for me”

I don’t trust myself that I can carry it through…

You see, I read verses like 1 John 4:16 and my negative thinking kicks in by habit… the STOOOPID thinking can start running full tilt…

With my mental health – depression & borderline – (wow!) Satan loves STOOOPID thinking… He’s busy firing his full arsenal at me… Thoughts, negative memories, past failures… Fireworks going off in my head!

If you’ve dealt with negative thoughts you know what I’m talking about…

And one statement Satan enjoys rubbing in our faces and is absolutely true!

WE DON’T DESERVE GOD’S LOVE!!

So I have to remind myself

GET OVER IT!

There is NOTHING I can do to earn it… The entire bill has been paid in full by Jesus on the cross…

There is one other reality… I am going to mess up… But here’s the secret… GOD ALREADY KNOWS AND HE STILL LOVES ME!!

So I have been learning to be more forgiving to myself… Not so hard… If I were to see someone else make the same error would I kick them out of God’s kingdom?

No

I have tools I have gleaned… Bible verses or passages… Armour of God (Eph 6), Spiritual battle weapons (2 Cor 10:3-5), Unexplainable peace (Phil 4:4-7), Good things to think about (Phil 4:8)

I have my own testimony… People can argue semantics but they cannot argue my testimony…

I have my journalling to look back on…

Prayer… Reading my Bible… Devotions… I never fails to amaze me how often I find the answer or direction with just doing my everyday devotions…

I just need to rely on God…

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