Despondent or Feasting

Depression… Well it sucks… It bites… It’s lousy… It’s horrible… It’s (________)… I’m sure you have a word or two…

From my recent devotions: Proverbs 15:15 (NLT): For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
for the happy heart, life is a continual feast

This verse speaks truth… When battling depression… It seems like the whole world is against me… Everything seems to be at odds with me… We’re talking about the days where getting out of bed is a major accomplishment… But then getting to the kitchen and all the glasses are dirty… The toast gets burnt… I’m out of jam…

In the bathroom there is no toilet paper on the roll…

If I actually plan to get dressed (likely because I need to go grocery shopping) I realize that all my pretty undergarments need to be washed except for that last day, scraggly old underwear that you keep for days just like these and at my age and a baggie sweater I might be able to get by without a bra (gravity bites)… Then it’s a battle to choose which pair of jeans look the cleanest… (don’t even think laundry!)

Of course I can’t find my car keys and my wallet is no where nearby either…

So the first half of Proverbs 15:15 For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
I pretty much have nailed…

However, that’s not an excuse…

During the darkest days of my mental health meltdown I lost sight of God… You would think that I, raised in church, would have instantly turned to God…

In the years previous I hadn’t “needed” God and I ran my life on my own power and steam… Then that system collapsed…

Satan had me looking anywhere except right behind me where God was patiently waiting…

Now, I’ve learned I’m not strong enough to do it myself… I have struggles to deal with… Sometimes it can be more up in my face and also though, times of feeling settled where God and I talk regularly…

If you’ve read any of my other postings, you know that Phil 4:4-8 are verses I use… Rejoice in the Lord always and ago I say rejoice! It’s a command… you can find the rest on another blog posting…

Rejoicing… This goes perfect with the second part of Prov 15:15b for the happy heart, life is a continual feast

The happy heart… I’m no Pollyanna (really great Disney movie)… The world doesn’t always seem to be full of soft puppies and kittens… Beautiful sunshine perfect days…

But rejoicing, being joyful… I can choose to rejoice… Note CHOOSE!

Habakkuk 3:17-19
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines;

even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation

What even though can we put there for us?

EVEN THOUGH

I struggle with invasive or suicidal thoughts…

My meds aren’t balanced…

My bank account is depleted…

My friends(?) don’t seem to understand me and my mental health battle…

Every cell and fiber in my body are screaming to give in…

The entire world seems to be against me…

yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation

Prov 15:15b for the happy heart, life is a continual feast

I’m hungry…

Matthew 5:6 (NIV): Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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