Ugh!!! Morning Glory!!!

Hosea 9:6b Their treasures of silver will be taken over by briers, and thorns will overrun their tents.

Morning Glory… It looks pretty hence the name… To me it represents all that is NOT actually glory… It’s a horrible take over my garden, I have arrived and I don’t ever plan on leaving weed! Just 0.25-inch root is ALL it takes to start blooming again… It’s root can run 14 ft and 4 inches down…

It is nasty… My evergreen tree is totally brown and dead as it is located in an area we only notice a few times a year… but there it is… ruined… Just like the verse says…

With mental health, there are many seldom seen areas… Some we don’t yet know exist, which is fine, God will shine His light and truth when the time is right…

They are areas we totally avoid because we choose to ignore them… They are painful… They can be something we actually choose to cling to… To try and show the world what was done… Or hold onto because we don’t know of anything else to do…

But just like the weed… So much bigger and “mightier” than the pretty package we have become ensnared by… It will stop us from moving forward…

The past few days our church has been blessed to have a special man of God speaking… He has spoken into the lives of many and been 100% dead on about what their lives have been but more importantly, where their lives are heading… Seriously… I’ve been sitting back smiling and nodding my head as he describes them then our pastor will explain to the prophet and the assembly what the person does or is known for…

One verse he has used over and over is Romans 12:2 (NKJV): And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Renewing of my mind… Prove… Good acceptable… Perfect will of God…

The mind games… Even the “silent” mind games… Doing things out of habit…

Charlie, our speaker, told us 1 truth…

Doubt kills more than failure…

Mental health… Doubt? They are brother and sister…

The definition of insanity… Doing the same thing over and over again BUT expecting different results…

If I want to change the ending, I MUST change the script! AKA renewing of my mind…

Is it easy? Ahhh… No!

Can I do it? By myself? No… With God though… Yes!

What if I mess up? Get up, dust off and move forward…

I’ve been struggling with my mental health issues more lately… Let me give you a back story first…

About 5 years ago I was just starting into my mental health crisis… I had what I called oppression attacks… They seem hell-bent and were so overpowering I would not have wished them on anyone…

Over the last few, I have stabilized for the most point…

Then this past spring I was battling oppressive attacks, not as strong, again… I described it as having an elephant squished inside my chest and it also trying to squeeze God out…

One Saturday afternoon I was to get together with a wonderful bunch of church ladies and I was nailed again… I sent an I can’t make it text and then I started reading my devotions… Psalm 109 has attributes of God and I claimed every single one! And just like a balloon popped! The pressure was 100% GONE!!!

I was speechless! I have lived most of my life with pressure inside… This was a totally new experience!

The pressure is still gone…

So my battles are mostly different…

I now need to figure out what goes into the “empty” space…

I’ve had episodes of being overwhelmed at times, which is totally new…

I’ve been dealing with the 5 years issue… and feelings of not being contributing to the world…

And of course, the never-ending daily battle of mental health… just always so close at hand… I have to be vigilant

God has given me 3 visions for options:

With the always present MH – simply – Put on the armor of God as soon as I wake up…

The empty space – I planted the everso quoted mustard seed – it won’t grow overnight into a massive plant – It will take time to properly fill in this void…

The 5 years – instead of looking negatively – I now look at how FAR I have come because of God’s love…

So the “morning glory” which has entangled me for far too long is getting de-rooted, dug out and replaced… I’m learning to recognize it more and more – quicker… but even if I don’t for a while – it’s not like I’m watering it!!

God and I will get to it all in good time!!

And I will replace it with glory to God instead!!!!

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