All That it Takes

Flat on my back… looking up… I really couldn’t get any lower except well…

I weakly and finally called out to God…

Isaiah 59:1 (NLT): Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you,
nor is his ear too deaf to hear you call

I heard about a Christian “thing” that might help….

And I went not knowing what to expect and both desperate one second and so ashamed the next… I knew some of these people… Some for many, many years (25) but hadn’t seen them for ages… But I was barely holding on and really had nothing to lose…

TO SANITY

There I heard the words read out…
We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us TO SANITY

That night, Thursday May 29, 2014 I started my walk with God again… I could be ME! Not the superficial “I’m good” while remembering I had tried suicide a few days ago… People there were real… No masks…

I didn’t talk much but God did… Maybe not in many words but it was in the WAY He talked…

“I CAN RESTORE YOUR SANITY” said warmly with love and gentleness and kindness… Giving me hope again… When I had walked in, I had NO hope… Only darkness but just enough remembrance of God and who He is…

I walked out with hope… I came back the next week and I still go back…

The meeting? Celebrate Recovery… My recovery wasn’t alcohol or drugs or pornography… It wasn’t from inappropriate relationships…

I was a food addict – emotional eating is a term I recently heard…

I was a hurting person and how I had arrived at the place I found myself was not really the issue anymore… Forgiveness was said and done many years prior… Forgiveness is a choice and I had already made that choice…

My issue was self-hatred which outwardly manifested with mental health illness and looking back, it had issues going long before I realized it…

I still deal with the mental health issues…

Does this mean my faith is not big enough? No.

Look at people who have stress issues that result in a heart attack… Are they shunned? Are they told they should have more faith… That if they go for enough walks their heart muscle somehow regenerate…

My inner dilemma resulted in my brain not working as it should… It is physically damaged and no longer produces the chemicals I need so I take medication to compensate…

But if there is only one thing you should remember about reading this blog posting…

Isaiah 59:1 (NLT): Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you,
nor is his ear too deaf to hear you call

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