Peace Just Peace

Phil 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Ahh.. one of my most used – prayed – scriptures…

Finding peace when it seems that panic or worry or anxiety is dictating my life… I tend to lean more to the extremist view… Not catastrophic… But the pendulum is leaning more that way… (And I’m working on it)

One day this week wasn’t a stellar day… I have events coming up… Good events… But my mental health likes to kick the anxiety into high gear… When I have an event (totally new type) to attend my Borderline Personally Disorder (BPD), that’s been pretty well “controlled”, pops out to play…

Doubts… Will I fit in, will I dress appropriately, how awkward will my mental health make things, will people judge me because of my mental health… Do most people know about my mental health issues… Will I say inappropriate comments… Will I truly be a “fifth wheel”…

Rejoicing is hard… It’s hard, really hard… My anxiety was in a high gear… I knew that distractions help… I put on some Christian music and find something to do… It worked and I found I was more settled…

But then I feel ashamed… I didn’t pray enough… I didn’t rejoice and rejoice and rejoice… I hadn’t used my own advice! I hadn’t followed the “steps” with Phil 4:4-7… I was a fraud!

I talk about it – rejoicing, and I have successfully many times… But this day I didn’t…

The question is was I wrong in choosing Christian music and cleaning out a bag of yarn that needed sorting?

I was feeding my brain with Christain lyrics…

I know I found I had less anxiety after a while…

The music calmed my soul… It spoke God’s words to me… It sang of God’s character to me… It reminded me of God’s promises to me… It reminded me of God’s love for me… It blessed me in knowing that God is with me as He goes before me and beside me and surroundings me in His love… It revived my spirit and I was more able to listen to God’s spirit…

I was more at peace again…

It’s what I needed…

There are many ways to find peace with God… And that’s what I needed…

Peace… Just peace…

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