November 2017 – December 2018

It’s the time of year where we look back and look forward… (And up)

Where was I a year ago…

Less confident… I would have been described as very passive and now I’m more assertive… Which might not seem a big deal to many but it’s huge step for me… It means I’m starting to believe in myself… 

I’ve undergone changes in a lot of areas of my life over the 4 years I’ve been fighting with mental health…

  • Physically: I’ve lost about 150 lbs. I’m starting to accept the woman I see in the mirror as me (I’ve kept the weight off for over a year)
  • Emotionally: I’m finding my healthy boundaries, healthy release of emotions, actually allowing emotions
  • Spiritually: God and I have grown closer… I see a lot of spiritual changes… Stretching my comfort zones and learning to rely on God… Much improved communication between God and me…

I’ve developed a spiritual support network. Family, friends… They simply love me no matter what. They’ll kick my butt, pray with me, give me a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, create fun memories and just be silly and goofy with… 

Other than family and friends from church… Celebrate Recovery has been the most influential aspect for my changes…

So I started my “resolution” on November 1st with the word INTEGRITY…Trying to be the best Christian, the best wife, daughter, mom, sister, friend possible… And God also gave me the word PERSEVERANCE… 

Somedays I know I won’t want to move a finger or even an eyelash… That’s how mental health can be (thankfully these days are less frequent)… Sometimes for unknown reasons… 

(like why a chicken doesn’t have lips) 

…it’s just a bad day… Or sometimes it’s been a slow descent and you realize you have some climbing to do with God’s guidance (and the prayers and support of your network)…

But I will PERSEVERE

Not unreasonable to the point of failure… I know I’m human*… Failure will be not getting back up in the face of adversity… 

Continuing at looking ahead… Yes, I have some of the typical January things… Physical – walking… God… Still closer… Emotional… Allow them to continue to properly develop…

It’ll be interesting to look back a year from now and see what challenges… valleys and mountains I’ve visited… I do know I won’t be going alone… I have God and my beyond description, faithful, rock husband and the rest of my network traveling with me as I too will travel with them…

To all… Blessings upon you and your’s in 2018… 

* Romans 7:18-20  I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 

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