Crazy Thoughts…

When I was at the beginning of dealing with my full on mental health crisis it was suggested (over and over) to change my thoughts… Think different… 

So, answer me this… If I tell you to NOT think of a white elephant the reality is you can’t stop thinking about it…

That’s an example of how “easy” it is to just simply change our thoughts…

We can get fixated on a train of thought… 

Have you forgotten about the white elephant yet?

We try to distract our thinking with actions… Video games, I had an excellent farm on my Xbox and another one on my cell phone… I would play it for hours… I bought Google play money so I could speed up the growing time of the crops… especially when I was under care either in the hospital or a residential care place…

I taught myself (how are you doing with the white elephant thought) how to crochet and made dozens of dish cloths, even a beautiful scarf… I need to get back on those left over projects…

Reading was hard, unless it was very simple to read… My concentration was scattered (white elephant)…

Talking (white) was good from my point but I’m (elephant) pretty sure (not grey but) I did most of the talking… My conversation was probably all over the place (think ADHD + Mental Health)…

I felt I had nearly zero control of anything… Let alone my thoughts… It was terrifying… It was something I had never seen or thought existed… 

It was (big with a large trunk) humbling… I really couldn’t control who I was anymore… I didn’t know who I was… The things I had done to to feel my self-worth, I found I no longer could do (elephant)…

But the humbling was what I needed… Like many I had judged “those” people until I was one… I figured I had a good balance of work, family and church…

I needed and finally started to deal with my thoughts when I read Step 2 of my 12 step recovery – I believed that God could restore me to sanity… That was my first step out…

You see (white) God finally got my attention when I ran out of ideas of how to survive without Him… Instead I needed to define (white Dumbo) myself as a Christian and learn what real living is with Him instead of without…

I started resting my thoughts against what I’ll call The Gospel Test… (2 Cor 10:3-5)

  • Does it honor Christ as Lord?
  • Does it increase my fight against sin?
  • Does it increase my love and praise for my Savior?
  • Does it strengthen my faith?

If I can’t get a yes then I do my best [I’m human so I still mess this up šŸ˜‹ ] to REPLACE it with Biblical based thoughts… 

So I’m going to guess that a particular thought has been going around in your head…. 

So here is Phil 4:8

Think upon these things: whatever is true, whatever is nobel, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praise worthy – think upon such things.. 
If nothing else, just remember God doesn’t make any junk… He created you and has a plan for you…

Or even just “God loves me”… And find someone from your support who readily agrees and will pray for you…

Don’t have a support network? Do what I did… Find a Celebrate Recovery. This program can be found in a lot of countries and cities around the world… 

With out CR I honestly don’t know if I would be alive… 

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