‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Sunday… Good from start to finish…

The worship was uplifting… We praised… I bounced (to clumsy to jump)…

It awakened my soul!

We sang praising God and every song touched me… with words that I can apply to my life exactly where I find myself…

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

And to take Him at his word

Just to rest upon His promise

And to know “Thus saith the Lord”

A hymn going back to my childhood age…

(I’ve always found Christian music comforting…) but I digress…

With my life I must be doing some things right or be on the correct path because I am bring accosted in many ways…

Spiritual, physical, mental…

Literally on all fronts… It’s a battle every day, more than usual it seems…

Is easy to just drift away on the thoughts from satan… The lies… Temping at first… The “hey, I can handle this!”

If I can handle it then why is it an issue?

One of my coping methods as a child was going over to a fantasy world… The one place where everything was perfect, that I was perfect… And was at peace and loved…

This fantasy world still exists – it literally feels about 6 inches away… all the time… In the medical world I believe it’s call depersonalization.

When I start to feel overwhelmed it would be nice to go to my “happy” place…

For the past few days I’ve been Googling an issue… And, no I don’t think I have the bubonic plague, but I have looked to better understand… It’s how I like to deal with life… I research…

If I’m going to be buying a hockey stick – what brand is best? What is the latest type? How flexible does it need to be for me? What type of curve for me? How long should the shaft be? How long…

You get the idea…

My mental health kicked into gear… I have 3 mental health issues DX

  1. Major Depressive Disorder – I isolate more… Less time on social media, not wanting to leave the house…
  2. Borderline Personality Disorder… I really dislike myself, I seek attention, tell you I hate you but holding on to you saying please DON’T LEAVE ME… Fear of people meaning me as I have yet another issue and the straw hit the donkey’s back
  3. GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder… I twitch more, my leg may bounce, and my aphasia gets worse, I bone myself more -if maybe I hadn’t fed the dog all my brussel sprouts when I was a child

So basically I can be twitching, sort of stuttering and attention seeking and hanging on to you… 😆

I’m getting better at recognizing my mental health signs… I certainly do not want to go back to where I was 2 years ago let alone 3 or 4… But I choose to seek out God… God always is there… He goes before me, after me and surrounds me…

{Psalm 23}

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me (they gently guide me as I’m going through this dark valley)

God and I have some walking to do…

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2 Comments

  1. You can never go wrong if you trust in the Lord!

    • sryall

      Indeed!

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