Holy Pain and Integrity

For a few weeks my back want to remind me of my age and has been a sore…

Today the pain is not only big time but also very different…

I’ve been struggling with a pity party wanting to happen (mental health issues are a daily battle) as I have other health and things stewing in the pot…

Tonight was my CR weekly big group meeting and I love attending it… This afternoon is quickly became apparent that I wasn’t able to go…

Hubby came home and we had some time together… Then off to bed for him.. he’s a morning person and I’m not… The DVD was still turned on but I wasn’t really interested and turned it off… I checked my email and so forth…

And then in God fashion, He nudge me about my new favorite word:

INTEGRITY

So I looked at my list of spiritual items and decided I would work on my 12 step lesson – SANITY… I had finished the lesson already but decided I would look again…

And wouldn’t you know it! I found a verse that I SOOOO needed…

CR loves acrostics. For Sanity the S is for Strength.

Psalm 73:26 (GNB) My mind and body may grow week, but God is my strength; He is all I never need.

It was one of those jump right off the page and smack you in the face moments… God’s way of saying to me… I have you… Lean on me… I will be your strength… I have a plan remember? Trust me…

Then the Holy Spirit sent me to (Paul talking):

We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety. 2 Cor 1:8-11

Now I realize that Im not in mortal danger… but I am in physical pain… And at times between the pain, the thoughts, the mental health issues… I can get overwhelmed!!!!

Sometimes it can be hard for me to understand what God’s purpose is… and sometimes it takes a while…

Back to CR… While I would have really enjoyed the time with my friends… God had something better planned… Great time with Him speaking to me through His Word which turned into increased faith.

I learned:

First He let me know that He is my strength and all I ever need….

Second He reaffirmed that when I feel overwhelmed and feel I’m beyond helping myself… To get out of the way (already) and have complete confidence in Him…

Although the physical pain remains for now at least, my inner self is feeling more faith, more hope and more love…

God spent time with me… What could be better than that?

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