A Little of This, A Hard “That” & Stallions
God has been confirming where my ministry is… it is to women with mental health issues just like me. And that I will be in the trenches with them… for now at least, the physical healing has not been granted. I still deal with fatigue and down days. I have my network of accountability partners and my sponsor. I have Bible First Aid kit of verses that have given me comfort in the past. I can pray of course – and I have my sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.
A couple of weeks ago I got rattled to my soul. Satan will use anything and everything to fire darts or arrows at us – and he landed a good one. I have been stable with my meds now for just over a year. During that time I had no suicidal thoughts and I was pretty secure in thinking I had victory over them. Not so I found out…. It rattled me so hard that I felt it spiritually, emotionally and physically. I literally felt like a taser gun had hit me and it lasted for many hours. It was humbling and an awakening to not take things for granted. I had friends and family praying for me.
I’ve been working on being more meek and weak so that it will be evident that God deserves the glory and not me. God can work better if I just let Him be in charge. It is by His strength.
But meek is not a wall flower type of person… meek really means strength under control – I recall reading that the analogy of taking a wild stallion under control – the stallion still has it ability and power but now can be used to it’s full potential.
The church we attend has been growing and is continuing to grow … and I like how the church is doing it… it’s not just bring somebody type of idea – it’s more that as we grow we have needs in our church – everyone is equipped with God given talents – passions – desires – and as a church we are going to figure out what they are for everyone – and then look at how best each person can use their gifts.
I can foresee many stallions in our church…
My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed, but that now as ever I may do honour to Christ in my own person by fearless courage. Phil. 1:20*
*Chambers, O. (1986). My utmost for his highest: Selections for the year. Grand Rapids, MI: Oswald Chambers Publications; Marshall Pickering.
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